I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
