so explain again why im purple
no
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
this is an emotional support booty call
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
