no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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