she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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