Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
