I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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