I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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