i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Randomize
