someone threw a dead crab at me
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Randomize
