You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Randomize
