Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
