Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
