I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
Duck Duck Cougar?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
