you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
