Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
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