dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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