Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
