Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Princesses don't give blow jobs
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i think i just lost a toe
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
