My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Randomize
