wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
She even gives head with a lisp.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
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