I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
