where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
