What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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