The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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