I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Pants are for mortals
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
