just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
