Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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