I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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