I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
