Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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