if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
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