nut hugger
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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