garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
