The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
what the fuck happened to the tacos
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
