so that wasnt chicken after all
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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