KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
