I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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