Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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