Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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