my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
