We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
