U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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