i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
