yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
