is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
