dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
this just has baby written all over it
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Randomize
