my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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