You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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