I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
