oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
