There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Randomize
